Thursday, December 8, 2011

Top 5 Metal Disappointments of 2011, by chris

5. Not getting a copy of the Satanic Warmaster/Akitsa split 7"

Being a huge Satanic Warmaster fan, I was super stoked when I heard that a new 7" split with Akitsa was dropping this year. However, I'm broke like a motherfucker and had to sleep on this release. I grabbed a copy online (yes, for free), and it's as good as I'd hoped, but the vinyl nerd inside of me is still disappointed. I suppose I could always look on eBay, but that seems a lot more time consuming than bitching on the internet.

4. Skeletonwitch writing the same record for the third time and still getting hot loads of critical acclaim.

Is it just me, or is Skeletonwitch kind of boring? I get it. You guys play blackened thrash. So fucking what? I've always been lukewarm on this band, but I always give their albums a few spins to see if they are actually progressing. You know what? They're not. Forever Abomination sounds like the last two albums (Breathing the Fire and Beyond the Permafrost), but for some fucking reason metal critics have a massive boner for it. This shit is waaaaaaaay over-hyped. I feel like that guy who saw that demon on the wing of that plane, but no one will believe me.

3. Decibel Magazine's Top 40 Albums of 2011

I read Decibel almost every month, and every December I am dumbstruck by the albums they choose for their Top 40. This year's list was particularly terrible. Opeth at #2? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! That album was boooooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggggg. While their list did contain some of my favorite albums of 2011 (which you will find out about in due time), their top 5 really missed the mark. Also, the new Wolves in the Throne Room album didn't even make the list but, to be fair, Decibel has been ignoring seemingly every Southern Lord release for years. Idiots.

2. Lantlos - Agape

I'm a big fan of the first two Lantlos albums and I had hoped that Agape would be the masterpiece I know these guys are capable of, but sadly that is not the case. While I don't hate the new material, I also don't think it takes any positive steps forward. The whole album suffers from weird pacing and too much ambient filler. I wanted to love this album, but I just can't. Not terrible, but very disappointing.

1. Leviathan - True Traitor, True Whore

I loved Leviathan's last proper full length, Massive Conspiracy Against All Life, and had high expectations for True Traitor, True Whore. Unfortunately this album is too experimental for its own good. It's disjointed, unfocused, and unimaginative. After reading Brandon Stosuy's interview with Wrest I was even more turned off to this album. Wrest presented himself as a monosyllabic neanderthal and failed to answer even the simplest of questions. I'm not going to make a rape joke like Matt did in his Top 5 Disappointments post (you can call me the bigger man). A colossal disappointment.

1 comment:

  1. something is wrong when pitchfork has one of the better top metal album lists for 2011.